When most people think about university life, their minds often jump straight to the party scene; excessive drinking, society events, coming home at 3am and sleeping until noon the next day. For many students, this is the quintessential university experience, and it is something to be embraced. But for others, this lifestyle isn’t always attainable, or even desirable in the first place.
With that being said, some of my best memories from first year were nights out with my friends, bonding over what to wear and who could find the best cheap wine. Living alone as an adult for the first time, yet still having little responsibility, is a unique and exciting opportunity, and there is certainly nothing wrong with wanting to make the most of this by embracing the partying scene.
However, as I enter my second year, and start to settle here in Manchester, I am beginning to re-evaluate what I really enjoy, and it seems as if my idea of a fun night out has shifted. Don’t get me wrong, I will rarely miss a Friday at Blues Kitchen, but the club life doesn’t quite have the same appeal anymore. I’m not a big drinker, and the idea of being pushed around by strangers whilst listening to songs I’ve never heard of doesn’t always seem like the ideal night.
Deansgate Locks, one of the centres of Manchester's nightlife scene, and a familiar haunt of many students: Photo: tj.blackwell @Flickr
Strangely though, I almost began to feel guilty about this. I felt as if I was wasting the ‘university lifestyle’ by saying no to nights out, as if I would disappoint or offend my friends and even that I was throwing away my early twenties.
But this was never my truth. In reality, I have friends who's company I love outside of drinking and partying, I now get to spend my Saturday nights cooking dinner with my housemates and watching movies, and, honestly, I feel happier than ever.
If you’re someone who relates to this feeling, or you simply want to go out less for various personal reasons, I’ve compiled a few tips to help keep a fulfilled social life at university without feeling forced to succumb to the partying culture.
1) Don’t say no to everything!
This might sound like I’m contradicting everything I’ve just said, but sometimes it can be worth stepping outside of your comfort zone. If a close friend is excited about a night out at a club that isn’t really your scene, consider still going along every now and then. Be optimistic and you might be surprised - sometimes these do end up being the best nights!
2) Explore alternatives.
In such a vibrant city like Manchester, there is so much more to do than just clubbing. Try not to let yourself get stuck in a routine of staying at home every evening/weekend- branch out! Here are some great alternatives I would recommend:
- Haus in Fallowfield host live jazz every Saturday night, and a comedy club on Sundays.
- Bars are often a great middle ground. You can still get dressed up and enjoy your favourite drinks without the pressure to get home so late. Some fun Manchester bars that have a whole host of different activities to keep you entertained include Flight Club, Boom Battle Bar, YES bar and NQ64.
Haus in Fallowfield. Photo: Rona McCann
3) Make staying in your night out.
Some of my favourite evenings have been spending quality time with my friends at home. Invite some friends over or plan a specific night for your housemates to all be at home together. Stock up on some cheap drinks, put on your favourite film or playlist, and just enjoy each other’s company. If the thought of this brings some social anxiety, try organising specific activities you can all do together to keep things fun and engaging. For example, my housemates and I recently spent the evening drawing portraits of each other to decorate our walls!
4) Find like-minded people!
Although I have touched on the positives of trying to join those who do love going out, it’s also important to balance this with people who have similar priorities to yourself. Focus on those friends who will make the time to plan things with you… going on coffee/study dates or coming along to the fitness class you’ve been wanting to try. If you feel as if you haven’t yet made such friends, there is nothing wrong with doing these things alone. Similarly, have a look into different events and societies ran by the university, as there will be several that are not centred around drinking/partying, offering alternative activities for your evenings.
The Student Union, on the main campus, a hub for many society events. Photo: Rosina Read
Hopefully this guideline can bring you some inspiration for when you don’t feel like going ‘out out’. Ultimately, university is a time for self-discovery, and that includes figuring out what social activities genuinely give you fulfilment. Whether you do love going out, or you’ve realised you prefer staying in, the important thing is to embrace the experience that feels right to you, and not to fake it for the sake of fitting into expectations.
There’s no single way to make good friendships or spend your weekend, and no one can criticise you for staying true to yourself. Everyone comes to university for a variety of reasons and have different priorities whilst they’re here. In the end, you’ll never be missing out if what you’re doing makes you truly happy.
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