Overheard on Campus

"But how would they know there’s no semen in the Ali G sleeping pods? I wouldn’t want to lie in semen."

-Overheard in Ali G

"This carpet is the carpet I’d give my Sims when I was going to kill them."

-Overheard in Samuel Alexander

"Russell Brand would definitely let you do what you wanted with him."

-Overheard in Owens Park

"That would be the title of your autobiography—Lights Off, Clothes Off, Turned Off."

-Overheard in Withington Sainsburys